Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Tanti Auguri a mia sorella Clarissa!

The first time we met was at the morning meeting for my new credit union branch that I transferred to because we bought a house. It was located in what is considered a primarily retiree community. Business was steady, but our member base was rather... unentertaining, for lack of a better word. Senior citizens have a very different sense of humor. The branch consisted of a very young staff so I thought it would be pretty cool. Then this tiny little Columbian girl struts in with perfect jet black hair and the most incredibly cute nose; perched perfectly above the sexiest lips I've ever seen on a female.

Because I'm a narcissistic girl, I immediately though "Shit, this bitch is going to hate me." Of course, I thought our time working together was just going to be 9 hours of constant competing. But within five minutes of sitting there, she surprised the hell out of me. She was so friendly, like genuinely nice and curious about me. She asked really thoughtful questions and she actually stopped to listen to my responses. I was so relieved but little did I know she and I would turn out to be the best of friends. #soulsistas

It didn't take us long to realize that we had a very similar sense of dark humor and we shared many laughs at our very skillfully delivered sexual innuendos to our older gentlemen clientele. #sugardaddyme Poor old men had no idea what was going on but they chuckled every time, probably because they really couldn't hear what the hell we were saying.

I didn't dread going to work ever during our two year stretch at that place. We brought each other coffee, went to lunch every day, sang and danced like madmen in the drive thru office. It was a total dream. We came up with awesome alter egos and personas that in any given day we turned into prissy British women sipping tea all day, talking about the Princes to straight up Jennies from the block with the most baddest attitudes on the planet. I still laugh about the shenanigans we got ourselves into.

It got so bad that we were actually separated at one point. Like, our manager split us up and made us take lunch breaks an hour a part! What a bitch! But because we were 50% of the full time staff, when the rotation came around for working on Saturdays, she and I volunteered every time and so management had no choice but to let us work together. Those are the best working days of my life. We rocked Saturday drive thru like no body's business! Whispering into the mics, speaking in ridiculous accents from one member to another, putting on wicked dance shows for the massive lines... it was awesome.

Then, the two year mark hit and we were both bored out of our gd minds. We even turned in our resignations together. At that moment, whatever professionalism we displayed up to that point, went completely out the window. We stopped caring about dress code, showed up late hung over (sometimes still a little drunk), and took hour and half lunches. (And when I say "we", it was mostly just me.)

It wasn't the most responsible thing we've done but to be fair it was management's fault. They weren't supportive of her pursuing her Masters and me leaving the banking field for a break through career advancement in the medical industry. So... we turned into spiteful little 13 year olds and it was glorious. We even celebrated our last day working together by showing up in jeans and dropping the f bomb a couple of times to our high roller members. (Funny tid bit though, they actually found it refreshing and one of them even invited us to a private showing of his newly built mansion furnished with imported Italian marble and he made sure to tell us to bring our swim suits to try out his olympic sized heated pool... creep much?) So we went... just j/k'ing. or am I?

Even though we wouldn't be working together anymore, there was no doubt in either of our minds that we would remain close. To me, it seemed like every lunch date we had just got better. Our time spent together was even more precious than the time before. I looked forward to hanging with her because we laugh so much about anything, everything, and sometimes even over nothing at all.

She and I haven't seen in each other in 2 years but we talk everyday. I'm getting ready to skip over to Phoenix to spend Thanksgiving with her this year. There will be tears (5 bucks says she'll cry first), so much hugging our bodies will morph into one lopsided glob of girl, and laughter like a couple of irie hyenas.

Claire Bear, I hope you have a wonderful birthday today. I love and miss you to pieces you sexy Columbian Bam Bam! I shall see you soon! #ifly #beaties #dsfcu

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