Saturday, March 8, 2014

My new (creepy) hobby

Let me set the scene for you lovely readers.

Right now, I'm sitting in a bar and it's the middle of the night on this glorious and cold Saturday. I'm having some grub before heading to a show. 

I inadvertently chose a spot next to a couple.  Tonight is their first date. I know this because for the past half hour they have been talking about the basics. You know, "where you're from", "siblings", "college experiences", "life goals", "most awesome vacation", etc. 

So in between bites of this delicious bbq chicken sandwich, I try to hide my giggles to their conversation by taking 900 sips a second of my San Pelligrino. It's working so far. But I have to wrap this up quickly since I've been nursing this sandwich for almost an hour and it's starting to look weird. 

How completely awkward this whole situation would be for me. I have been listening intently on his responses because he's trying so hard to come off as a cool, hip, badass. And she's trying to project this hard core, high speed, kind of badass chick who can totally hang with the dudes. They are both not badass by any stretch of the imagination. Even for common folk. 

This "fly in the wall" experience has traumatized me. I will never go on a legit date for as long as I live. I would have tapped out on minute 6 of this date if I were her. First off he chose to wear a tomato red polo and khakis. On a first date. At a bar. 

Not saying that I'm so vain where I would immediately dismiss someone based off of what he was wearing. However, within 10 minutes he no shit started talking about wizards and then followed it up with video games and the hard knock life of a fraternity. He's seen his roommate naked. "It gets crazy." Apparently. 

Now the girl, I groove on her. She takes her time in responding and it seems like she is really into him. She's only laughed a handful of times though and he's been prefacing many of his anecdotes with "let me tell you something super funny..." She fake laughed every single time. I, however, real laughed. But since I've been clicking away on this here smartphone it seems as though I'm having a super comical convo with a friend. Which I am not...

Anyway, I'm done eating and now I have to go to the bathroom. 2 liters of acqua frizzante will do that to a girl. But, I've enjoyed myself so much that now this is what I will do to pass the time before I have to go out and do things. And I will write all about it.

Just for your information. He works at a restaurant and she is a bartender. They are both new to the area. She has no siblings and he has a bunch of brothers. I'm guessing he's talking about his fraternity brothers. He talked about those guys a lot. And how he can knock back tequila like it's going out of style... Life goals for the both of them are the same which I think is promising. Get a good job where they can both travel to exotic places like Florida and Alaska. They no shit said exotic and Florida in the same sentence. Haha they crack me up.

God, I miss my friends.

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Behind the Blog

Here are the final 8 days of Fat Mum Slim's Photo a day challenge prompts. 

Today, the prompt was "reflection". To be honest I've had one hell of a shit day and I just didn't feel like taking a picture of my reflection. Simply because the image would reflect either a really sad face or this one... my signature 'bitch' face. Sorry friends. I tried to crack a smile but it was so fake that it just upset me even more. BTW- I'm holding Too Faced Chocolate Soleil bronzer and it is amazing. Not only does it smell like chocolate, but it tastes like it too. I discovered this by accident. 

Day 27: My view from the rooftop. Looking over Elliot Bay and into downtown Seattle. 

Day 26: I was supposed to take a picture of "light" and it just so happened that I was sitting in rush hour traffic on the way to the east side to hang with some friends and I look up and see this thing. It illuminates bright orange at night time but such a lucky shot either way. 

Day 25: The prompt was "cut" and I don't have enough hair to get another hair cut. I already had food cooked, so I wasn't going to be cutting veggies or anything. And I sure as shit was not about to get all emo and cut my wrists for the sake of "art" so I did a word play. My caption was "Cut the shit, Clouds." Because the sun finally came out of hiding after 18 straight days of rain but the clouds kept blocking the rays.

Day 24: Half was the prompt. I did a quick sketch and wrote out a little snippet on the other side of her face but decided to just not reveal all that much about my current state of reflection on that day. 

Day 23: This is where I relax. It was a super lazy Sunday. Did absolutely nothing until 6pm. And all I did was put pants on and drive 20 minutes across the bridge to the east side to go grocery shopping for a shit ton of chicken and turkey, and coffee. And beer. 

Day 22: It was weird and discouraging to try to capture an "act of kindness" so I was about to skip that day. But, I was hanging out with a friend and he totally surprised me with this sweet little treat. It was a very delicious chocolate filled and dipped fig from Fran's chocolates. What are the odds???

Day 21: I love to read. But, usually I go for more captivating stories. However, I was pleasantly surprised with Mindy's book. It is funny (prompt for the day) because I can relate to her on several levels. 

Well, that wraps it up for this month's photo challenge. Hope you enjoyed the pics. And if you are not following me on Instagram yet- you totally should! 

Daily Nugget: When you're really pissed off about something, give yourself a little bit of time to process it before making a move. Thinking logically in a state of utter rage is one of the most challenging things I've ever had to do. Do not tarnish your character simply because you think the only way to cope is to do something just as disgusting. You're better than that and today proved that so am I.