Sunday, June 22, 2014

First quarter of college and what I've learned about myself

It's day 3 of Summer break (and the first real day of Summer in general) in sunny Seattle. It's been a very rejuvenating weekend for me already. My first priority when summer break came was to catch up on sleep. I haven't left my bed in three days. Well, besides to eat- which I promptly returned to bed right after. I would have eaten in bed, except my bed is all white and that would be dumb.

My intention for this post is to highlight some points throughout the last 11 weeks of culinary school that really helped me discover some things about myself.

Discovery point number 1: I am a terrible procrastinator. I have always been a star student. I have always liked school. So it was very interesting to find out that I procrastinate like the best of them. The whole idea of "working best under pressure" is a total lie in my case. I do not work well under pressure. I mean, sure- my research papers and big projects all came out with outstanding grades but the stress from cramming nights on end is just not worth it. In a real working environment, I can handle deadlines and that kind of stress like nothing but when it comes to self motivating, like behind closed doors- I pretty much fall apart. It's not the best color on me.

Discovery point number 2: I should not multi-task. I say this with a little reluctance. I know for a fact that I'm super rad at multi-tasking. I'm rather organized as is, but multi-tasking in a procrastinator's mind set is disastrous! I've learned that I should tackle one assignment at a time because it is so easy to have one class bleed into the others and it makes me sound like a crazy person. I was writing a research paper about the use of mind-altering substances and their effects of the music listening experience and all of a sudden I'm writing about fucken velvety smoothness of cream soups... and what defines a good quality fish stock. A lot of editing had to happen to get that paper back on track.

Discovery point number 3: Boys are the devil.  Let me explain: I am a text book Leo Lady. I am a ridiculously confident elitist who absolutely loves attention. I don't need the attention, and to be honest it sort of is irritating when it comes at me from 900 billion directions (slight exaggeration). I like the attention to come from ONE genuine source and college guys (and these Seattle men in general) sort of cheapen the idea because it's like they give me attention just because I'm a female? But what I've discovered is that they (as a collective) give the attention not because they're truly interested in me- they do it to get my attention in return. First off- gross. I've actually been called an uptight bitch because I refused to give into the advances of these boys. So, sure- I'm "uptight" because my only focus is school. But to call me a "Bitch" ok- a little harsh but again, I'm not going to apologize for not being interested in wasting time with some random hook up. That's not who I am. So "fuck you."

Discovery point number 4: College is exhausting. Full time college student can be rough. I think for me, the reason why it was so exhausting both mentally and physically is because I can't seem to just do the bare minimum. This is also why I cram for hours on end and haven't crawled into bed any earlier than 2am for the past 11 weeks. It's not a bad thing, but I wish they would have warned me during orientation. "Sleep as much as you can before school starts- because you won't get much until your next break." That is solid advice.

Discovery point number 5: The instructors are people too. Perhaps I lucked out? But I went in with the mindset that the instructors were going to be uptight DBags who didn't give two fucks about me as an individual. But boy, was I totally wrong. I appreciate that I was able to converse with my instructors in a fashion that was rather enjoyable. While in class, they were my instructors- I was there to gain information and knowledge which they all shared very well. But after hours, they were all able to pull off their chef's hats and be normal people. Who like to drink and talk smack about people and shit they've experienced at the concerts they attended over the weekend. It was nice to see that they are professional yet also able to be down to earth. Much respect.

Discovery point number 6: Trusting my judgement. I tend to over think many things. It's the control freak in me that prevents me from just letting things run their course. But, this past quarter I definitely learned to just go with my gut. About school, about people, about myself. I think this was the most significant lesson I've learned thus far. Husband always had such a knack for reading people and situations and I relied on that for so many years when it came to making my own decisions. I didn't think I had it in me to make good judgement calls on my own because I never really had to. But, I've learned that I'm able to sift through the bullshit and come out on the other side better for it.

All in all- first quarter was a success! I've made a handful of good friends, established a great rapport with my instructors, and started to really feel like I'm doing something good for myself. I'm grateful for the rest of break (my friend only gets like 3 days off between quarters, I got three weeks!) I've got a couple concerts that I want to check out- not exactly like concert week, but I'll take what I can get. And I'm actually excited about next quarter so that's awesome.

I hope your summer kicked off well, and until next time... Much love!
-CrisM