Saturday, July 30, 2016

30 years old and how it went.


I waited my whole adult life to turn 30. I had this grand plan of being holed up in a cabin surrounded by my closest friends, drinking hot chocolate, and gearing up to make snow men outside... Oh! Also, I was supposed to be celebrating my 30th birthday in the southern hemisphere where snow actually happens in July. But... that wasn't the case.

I was in Seattle for my 30th birthday, surrounded by half empty boxes, and it was most definitely hot outside. Bleh.

I just finally cut ties with probably the worst relationship I've had thus far. I moved out of my quant little abode in West Seattle and got into a bomb ass pad in Queen Anne. The move with absolutely necessary to the job situation, not to mention the personal life necessity. I was managing a cafe in North Seattle at the time and the commute was garbage.

Anyway, it was a whirlwind of events as life typically throws at me and I feel like I managed it with grace. So for my birthday, it sort of hit me out of no where. I didn't even have time to plan any festivities.... Not even a cake.

What I ended up doing tho was kicking it in my new spot, all alone, listening to the girliest of pop jams whilst dancing around and organizing my life. It was quite perfect for the moment. I macerated a bunch of cherries in some booze with the intention of making my ultimate summer boozy cupcakes but ended up getting schnockered on the cherries alone, sans cupcakes. Then I get a knock at my door... THE HELL!?!?!

I frantically threw on some clothes (yea, I was definitely in my birthday suit) and lo and behold this gorgeous man was standing there with an iced soy sugar free hazelnut latte in hand. He was kidnapping me for lunch and I was unbelievably thrilled to have such a great friend in my life! For the first time ever, I was put in a position where I didn't have to make any decisions about my day. It was nice. It was nice to know that I have a new person in my life who observed enough about me to just know what I'm into. So we went for a little drive listening to more Katy Perry and Bad girl Riri (definitely NOT his kind of music, but it was my birthday so... haha he was a wonderful sport about it) and we walked and talked and then he took me to an awesome sushi bar and we grubbed for what seemed like hours. After the fact, we walked and talked some more, just exploring my new neighborhood (something I didn't have time to do until then) and then he took me to get birthday ice cream!


It was a perfect day spent in a very perfect way. And again, him knowing when I've "had enough" he chivalrously returned me to my princess palace and sent me off to a late afternoon nap. Happy 30th birthday to me!

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

How the mighty have fallen

Time is precious and I've been MIA from this blog due to that fact.

I am in total disbelief that it's been over a year since I've posted. It's never that I don't want to it's just always been this one thing (work, school, gym, relationships, chores, family things, dog things, etc.) versus sleep. And when I'm not doing that "one" thing, I collapse on the nearest horizontal space and go "Should I write or should I sle...." [passes out on computer, wakes up 4 hrs later with keyboard keys embossed on my face and about 20 minutes to get my shit together and run out the door to tend to one of those things mentioned above]

As a matter of fact, this post has taken me almost two days at this point.

So let me set the scene for you. I'm sitting on my balcony at my new place. Oh! I moved! I moved from West Seattle to a swanky new spot in Queen Anne. Not that it really matters but, I feel that it's important for me to express that moving into this new CONDO is right on track with who I am. I've always had 2 plus bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, just as a standard because I have a lot of visitors come into town. I'm a gypsy, remember?

So my humble little apartment in West Seattle went against the grain in that respect and no wonder why I always felt so displaced! It was barely a bedroom, 1 bathroom, no space to live or breathe. Which was fine, in retrospect,  since I didn't really have any time to sit and be still. But now.... today especially, I have TIME. Again.

I went through a nasty break up not too long ago (early spring 2016) and took some time to rediscover what it is that I'm afraid of about exclusive relationships. I had to think long and hard about the kind of partner I am while in a relationship. And what I've learned is that my partner actually does make a difference. The kind of partner I'm with has to be a solid individual on his own. I am too easily influenced by his personality, his characteristics, daily traits, etc. I wouldn't say that I'm that chameleon girlfriend, but I definitely mimic behavior especially if I'm exposed to it on a daily basis.

The person I was a mere six months ago makes my skin crawl. I've developed habits that are heartbreaking. I want to claim that it was because of his actions, that I reacted the ways I did. Truthfully though, I just used that as an excuse to justify the deep, dark corners of my heart. We all have dark tendencies and the partner I was with exemplified that dark side to a thousand degrees.

Coming out of that very unhealthy relationship was like coming up from the deepest sludge of suffocating quick sand. I can breathe again, I can breathe cleanly, freely, and without ever taking that simple act for granted.

I'm doing well after the split- I'm resilient. He.... is as well? I'm not sure actually. He's the only "ex" I haven't kept up with since the split. Which just goes to show the magnitude of that poor decision. Anyway, it's time for me to clock off the grid.

Until next time, much love!
CrisM




Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Hello? Is anybody out there?

Well yes, it's been quite the gap in posts and I have totally valid reasons for updating this here blog now. Times are a changin' and it has ignited the voice within myself to SPEAK UP and say "what up, world!?"

I'm going to have to inch back into this blogger life because I've adapted and become quite comfortable in my own little bubble of secrets and omission so sharing my life via this one way platform still freaks me out. Sure, I did it for years so it should be like riding a bike, right? Wrong! I no shit jumped on a bicycle a few weeks back and just stood there, because I wasn't sure if I really knew how to ride a bike in the first place.

Silly girl, I know... I know...

So, let's recap:

My name is Cris I go by CrisM on here because of my last name. It just has a ring to it... CrisM CrisM CrisMmmmm haha Born and raised on the beautiful island of Guam. I have two lovely and supportive older brothers and my parents are modern day gypsies. Kind of... more on that later.

I love animals and I have a darling little pet child with me here in Seattle. I also have 3 little kitties (they're actually 11 year old mask and mantle twins and then a 10 year old full on tuxedo) they live with their Dadz in Florida. Fun fact: the twins were born in Florida!

I've moved around my whole life ("military brat", sure...) and it's a part of who I actually am. I'm a gypsy myself and I wouldn't have it any other way. As of right now I've set up in Seattle, Washington where I've been for just a little over 2 years. Which means, I'm about 1 year out from picking up and moving again. I'm definitely a "go with the tides" kind of girl...

So Hello (again) world. Let's see if I can continue to share my ultra charmed life- Seattle Edition!